It may be hard to see the resemblance at first, but Kendall Jenner and your Thanksgiving turkey have a lot in common. They both get tons of attention, but at the end of the day, they’re both overshadowed by their curvier, sweeter siblings. Yes, that’s right, we’re talking about Kim Kardashian—and pie, the flaky, round pastry that makes fielding Uncle Jim’s awkward dinner questions totally worthwhile. It goes without saying that you’re going to eat a slice or two—even if you’re trying to watch your weight. But that doesn’t mean you have to gobble down the very worst slice on the table to satisfy your taste buds.
To help you pick the best indulgence for your belly, the staff at Eat This, Not That! took a look at America’s most popular pies. After examining the nutritional profiles of each, we ranked them by their calorie, fat, and sugar contents. Although the actual nutritional numbers of your mom’s recipe may vary, we’ve gotten pretty close to what you can expect on your table this year.
From Best to Worst…
Coconut Cream Pie
Of all the pies on your holiday table, this airy tropical-flavored treat is the very best bet for your waistline. You have its “topless” design and egg-based filling to thank for that.
Strawberry pie is another variation that’s usually made without a top crust, which helps to keep the calorie and fat count on the conservative side.
This oft-overlooked pie is surprisingly low in sugar compared to the other options on your holiday table. Plus, the berries pack a big antioxidant punch and can help your body stave off heart disease and cancer. It’s a win-win your taste buds and your waistline are sure to love.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 302 calories, 12 g fat, 2.4 g saturated fat, 297 mg sodium, 43 g carbs, 2 g fiber, 23 g sugar, 4.8 g protein
Not only is this slice one of the best bets for your belly, it’s also high in beta-carotene, a nutrient that fights prostate cancer, protects your eyesight, and keeps mucous membranes resistant to infection. Pair your slice with a cup of one of these weight loss teas for a healthy—yet totally comforting—dessert.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 340 calories, 17 g fat, 8 g saturated fat, 390 mg sodium, 45 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 19 g sugar, 2 g protein
The phytonutrients in apples may help fight colon and liver cancers, but you’ll want to skip the ice-cream topper if you decide to indulge. Although this slice ranks high on our list, it already contributes enough calories to your meal.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 340 calories, 17 g fat, 7 g saturated fat, 370 mg sodium, 44 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 16 g sugar, 3 g protein
Cherries are chock-full of anthocyanins, which increase the strength of blood vessels and protect your lungs from smoke. Bonus: This pie is surprisingly low in sugar for a dessert. For an added hit of vitamins, top your slice with a serving of fresh cherries. Noshing on the fruit will keep your hands occupied so you aren’t tempted to go back for more treats.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 340 calories, 19 g fat, 8 g saturated fat, 350 mg sodium, 41 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 15 g sugar, 3 g protein
Although this pie is more popular during the summer months, many people still include it as part of their Thanksgiving spread. This is another pie that’s lower in sugar than we anticipated, but its high fat content still makes us raise an eyebrow. Indulge if you must, but we suggest steering clear of fattier side dishes like mac and cheese if you don’t want to bust a button.
Sweet Potato Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 330 calories, 13 g fat, 6 g saturated fat, 270 mg sodium, 48 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 28 g sugar, 4 g protein
A single slice of this Southern delicacy carries more than day’s worth of sugar! If you decide to indulge, cut yourself off after round one. And if Grandma sends you home with leftover treats, fight the urge to nibble them all at once with the help of these 50-calorie snacks.
Mixed Berry Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 340 calories, 17 g fat, 8 g saturated fat, 330 mg sodium, 44 g carbs, 2 g fiber, 17 g sugar, 3 g protein
Raspberries and blueberries and strawberries, oh my! A mixed berry pie packs a hefty vitamin and antioxidant punch, but its health benefits are a bit overshadowed by the artery-clogging saturated fat in the crust. But honestly, did you expect anything less? We’re talking about pie, after all!
Banana Cream Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 348 calories, 19 g fat, 10 g saturated fat, 213 mg sodium, 41 g carbs, 1.1 g fiber, 24.8 g sugar, 3.4 g protein
Filled with bananas and a just-sweet-enough pudding mixture, this classic recipe may look a bit healthier than the rest, but in reality, it falls towards the middle of the lot. If you want something creamy for fewer calories, have some bread pudding instead. A standard serving of a homemade recipe will cost you a cool 190 calories.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 363 calories, 13 g fat, 5 g saturated fat, 284 mg sodium, 64 g carbs, 4 g fiber, 32 g sugar, 3 g protein
The good news here is that most of the sugar in this pie is coming from the raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries. The remaining 15 grams per slice comes from the white granular stuff, which, for a dessert, isn’t too awful. There are cereals and dinner dishes with more added sugar than that!
Chocolate Cream Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 361 calories, 14 g fat, 5 g saturated fat, 281 mg sodium, 60 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 45 g sugar, 5 g protein
Thanksgiving can be rough for chocolate lovers. It’s a holiday meal that ends with a parade of pies, most of which are filled with fruit—not sweet cacao. But there are a few chocolate options out there and chocolate cream pie is the skinniest bet. It has less fat and calories than both turtle and grasshopper pie, but it’s higher in sugar. With that in mind, take a small slice, and then cut yourself off. There’s no need to down more than nine Twizzlers worth of sugar in a single sitting.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 380 calories, 17 g fat, 8 g saturated fat, 500 mg sodium, 53 g carbs, 2 g fiber, 17 g sugar, 3 g protein
This British holiday favorite originally contained minced meat, fruits, and spices. For an updated version of the recipe, however, replace the meat with apples, raisins, rum and seasonal spices like cinnamon and ground cloves. The result is a 380-calorie slice with a somewhat reasonable sugar count.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 365 calories, 20 g fat, 12 g saturated fat, 163 mg sodium, 35 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 26 g sugar, 2 g protein‘
Not familiar with green grasshopper pie? It’s a not-so-fancy delicacy made from crème de menthe liqueur, crumbled Oreo cookies, whipped cream, and marshmallow cream. That said, it’s not exactly a shocker that a single slice has as many calories as 13 Andes Thins Crème de Menthe candies. If you wouldn’t down that many chocolates in one sitting you should seriously consider sharing your slice with sweet Aunt Sue.
Lemon Meringue Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 360 calories, 9 g fat, 4.5 g saturated fat, 270 mg sodium, 62 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 52 g sugar, 7 g protein
It may be bursting with fresh lemon and a sweet, creamy meringue topping, but a slice will cost you more than two days’ worth of sugar. In fact, you could eat 8 Chips Ahoy Cookies and still not take in as much of the sweet stuff. Talk about that Thanksgiving weight gain.
Fruit Topped Cream Cheese Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 370 calories, 29 g fat, 16 g saturated fat, 170 mg sodium, 26 g carbs, < 1 g fiber, 19 g sugar, 3 g protein
Considering cream cheese pie is primarily comprised of sugar, cream cheese, and sour cream, we’re not too surprised that this dessert is a fat and sugar bomb. Are you?
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 383 calories, 16 g fat, 4 g saturated fat, 434 mg sodium, 57 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 43 g sugar, 7 g protein
A single slice of custard pie will cost you just under 400 calories—and that’s before you top it with the caramel sauce that it’s traditionally paired with. If you thought 43 grams of sugar was a lot, that number is going to be even higher once it’s drenched in liquid sucrose. Worried there won’t be any healthy-ish desserts as part of your Thanksgiving Day feast? Offer to make one of these easy dessert recipes so you can nibble on your own creation instead.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 390 calories, 22 g fat, 13 g saturated fat, 270 mg sodium, 46 g carbs, 1 g fiber, 32 g sugar, 4 g protein
This kids’ table favorite is packed with calories, fat, and sugar. In fact, one slice carries as much fat as six-and-a-half slices of bacon! If you’re looking for a similar flavor for fewer calories, take one of the chocolate-covered caramel and pecan candies sprinkled on top of the pastry, and pair it with a scoop of ice cream.
Vanilla Caramel Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 390 calories, 20 g fat, 12 g saturated fat, 330 mg sodium, 49 g carbs, 0 g fiber, 35 g sugar, 4 g protein
This decadent looking-sweet is one of the most sugar- and calorie-filled pies on the table. Indulge if you dare!
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 429 calories, 15 g fat, 4 g saturated fat, 310 mg sodium, 75 g carbs, 2 g fiber, 54 g sugar, 3.4 g protein
People don’t just like rhubarb pie, fans of the oft-forgotten pastry are totally obsessed. Sound like you? Since we probably won’t be able to convince you to stay away this holiday, we’d love for you to at least say no to seconds! You’d have to jog for 40 minutes to burn off a single slice! Woof.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 427 calories, 15 g fat, 3.2 g saturated fat, 344 mg sodium, 71 g carbs, 5 g fiber, 45 g sugar, 4.4 g protein
When your dessert has more calories than two cups of green bean casserole that’s not exactly a good sign.
Key Lime Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 430 calories, 18 g fat, 9 g saturated fat, 160 mg sodium, 62 g carbs, 2 g fiber, 45 g sugar, 5 g protein
It may taste light and refreshing—like the type of dessert best enjoyed wearing a bikini in the tropics—but with nearly two days’ worth of sugar in a single slice, this is one pie better left in the pan than on your plate.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 449 calories, 25 g fat, 13 g saturated fat, 401 mg sodium, 53 g carbs, 3 g fiber, 35 g sugar, 4 g protein
For 450 calories you could down four 3-ounce servings of white meat turkey—and a serving of mushroom gravy. There are far healthier pies to choose from so unless you look forward to this exact dessert every year, we suggest picking one of the higher ranking ones on our list.
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 541 calories, 22 g fat, 3.5 g saturated fat, 366 mg sodium, 79 g carbs, 2.8 g fiber, 33 g sugar, 6 g protein
Pecan pie, a classic Thanksgiving dish, is one big, goopy dilemma. Loads of fat, but almost 90 percent of the fat in these nuts is unsaturated, and pecans can reduce your levels of bad cholesterol (LDL) and raise your good cholesterol (HDL). That said, pecan is almost the most caloric of all pies, so it’s better left off your plate.
AND THE #1 WORST PIE IS…
Peanut Butter Pie
1 piece (1/8 of 9″ pie): 531 calories, 41 g fat, 19 g saturated fat, 390 mg sodium, 35 g carbs, 2.1 g fiber, 22 g sugar, 11 g protein
Cream cheese, peanut butter, peanut butter cups, confectioners sugar, and whipped topping all join together to create this caloric, fat-filled, mushy mess of a dessert. You could literally down 14 mini peanut butter cups and still not take in as many calories or fat. This is a definite Not That! Just say no when Uncle Joe offers you a slice—no matter how much slack he gives you.